
An empty auditorium. A nightmare I think we’ve all had.
Some pictures of the dress rehearsal. If you come to the show you can see what the heck is going on and try to spot the few subtle differences between these and the live experience.

Where’s Puss,? I’ve just seen a mouse this big, it was ordering a take-away and playing the ukelele

Believe me, this is by far the best stance for ski-jumping Proudlock

Pull my finger

Why does Dad wear Mums old maternity smocks whenever he sings?

Don’t come near me, I’ll ‘ave ya wiv me wand

I’m so poor. Maybe I should sell this girly silk shirt, it should fetch a few quid

I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and gay. And I pity any girl that isn’t me today

If you’re really my mother you’d know that I always wanted to be a gondolier on the Leeds to Liverpool canal

How would you two like to come back to the barracks to check out my etchings

King “How do you manage to keep your hands so soft” Queen “Slapping the servants”

This frill is so chafing

Gather round everyone and I’ll trump the Albarosa national anthem

Don’t worry Mrs Cobbler I’ll use magic to clear up those nits

Give this boy a job mrs Cobbler, he has an endless supply of girly silky shirts

Listen closely, I want you to put your forehead on the top of this broom handle, spin around five times and then try to exit stage left without landing on the band

You know the toilets are in the back Tom

What, you’re a cat. Well I can do a chimp impression look at this

I’m overjoyed to have found this shoe shop I wonder if they sell socks, my corns are chafing

I was born to be a dancer

I’m afraid I’m going to be busy, Father wants me to take a job as a toilet roll cover

Ah your majesty, I wonder if I could talk to you about PPI

Tom, why is your apron covered in skidmarks

You ‘orrible little man

…and then I just pushed the two dwarves under the water and nicked their pretty hats

Dirk – “Why don’t I have anyone to chat to”

Stage dive time. Watch out on the front row

No one waering black was allowed to sing at the Palace

An invitation to the Palace, I hope they have Sheesh Kebabs.

Staring contest, ready, GO!

I wonder if I’ve left the gas on

I see you’re admiring my Tom Miller skin rug and my Princess lamp

Now you’re all here I can show you my tap dancing skills

How did you manage to get this sword stuck in your forehead

A second later Tom revealed his love for Clarrissa the toad that he’d met in the duck pond earlier

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
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